I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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