Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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