You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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