today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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