Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
