This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize