I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
