They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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