you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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