My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Randomize
