i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
