Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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