we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
