DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
