you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
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His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
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Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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