i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
