do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
