is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize