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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I am one with the molecules
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
