I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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