Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
there is glitter all over my balls
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