life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
this will be a night to untag.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
