The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize