if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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