I didn't shave. On purpose
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
