like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
