From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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