So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
