guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
