Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
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When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
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