why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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