Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
