I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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