they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You've changed since you got that strap on
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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