In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
