I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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