So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
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Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
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it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize