I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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