It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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