i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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