My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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