This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
