I just saw a hot homeless man
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
