is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
We named our party play list daddy issues
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
