A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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