this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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