if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
