I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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