Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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