I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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