I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize