I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
