so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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