My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
