I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize