dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
this boner is exhausting
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize