I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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