i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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